"Heartbreaking", "Devastating" and "Helplessness" - Getting A Grip In 2020
Yes there was a yellow tinge to the sky in Auckland yesterday.
No, it was not smelly smoke. No it was not hazardous and no we were not at any risk whatsoever. Yet some Aucklanders who didn't look up the pollution index, lost their minds on social media.
To attempt to balance some of the nonsense I am presenting to you a list of:
A) Things in life that you have absolutely zero control over.
No matter how important you think you are, there is no worrying, grief, heartbreak or help that you can give to make a blind shit of difference.
Show this list to your children if they are sitting there now worrying themselves to an early grave.
Donald Trump - we do not vote in America, New Zealand is not important enough to influence the United States. No nothing we do matters. Yes he may start a war with Iran but nope, nothing we do matters. This goes double for Boris Johnson, Scott Morrison and any of the Middle Eastern world leaders.
Climate change - yes it exists and it is called "weather". Our ancestors have suffered through it. Without climate change we would not be here. We are here currently as we are at the top of the food chain. Nothing we do however will matter, the earth itself has an expiry date. Greta is correct about that but while she is intent on providing us with the false hope we can actually all do something about it by virtue signalling and reusing your cotton carry bag, I say we cannot. Enjoy the ride.
Pollution - beyond putting your rubbish in a bin and paying rates and taxes for other people to organise to take it away, nope that is it. Stop worrying about it. It is not your plastic straw or bag in the ocean unless you bloody put it there. Stop carting around reusable cotton bags in New Zealand like Venice Beach hobos. Other than visual pollution from people too stupid to put their plastic bags successfully in a rubbish bin, there is nothing better about cotton bags. Here is the air quality index map of the world. Refer to it next time someone thinks New Zealand's air is polluted. Offsetting your carbon credits is doing NOTHING to reduce carbon, it is only enriching the crooks charging you this fee for being pretentious.
The Black Caps performances - no worrying about this will not make that woe go away. One has learned to change the channel or go for long lunches instead of switching on. Or commence consumption of alcohol.
Bushfires - no nothing you do here makes a difference either to stop them, unless of course you are one of the may arsonists making this worse. Firefighters and chopper pilots are doing their best to put the fires out but without some rain, nope they may not make a difference either. This is very hard for people to handle that yes Australia is a very large country so putting the burning area on a map of smaller countries alarms everyone into thinking Paris for example is on fire. Except it is not and neither are large habitable parts of Australia. Get a grip. Somewhere a celebrity has donated anonymously to a bushfire charity and has yet to tell their PR agent. Maybe? Surely?
Other peoples opinions of you - nope nothing much you can do about that. People can be and sometimes are assholes regardless of what you say and do. Do what you like. Chances are they'll move on and talk about someone else very shortly given attention spans in the world are shorter than a Jeet Raval innings this summer.
Parentage - nope, not your fault you came out of the wrong vagina. And nope, just because you came out of the right one doesn't give you the right to remind everyone who your parents are for the rest of your life. You are a separate person stop living off reflected glory or otherwise. Likewise yes you have given birth but it equally doesn't give you the right to suggest you are better than other women and men for doing so. The village idiot can have lots of babies and claim child support from men and in New Zealand's case the taxpayer.
Gender - nope, not your fault you are a female or a male. It is allegedly acceptable now to try and change this but how on earth can you when you are too busy worrying about climate change, Donald Trump, pollution, bushfires and your parentage?
Heartbreaking and devastating - yes, everything apparently now is I wonder how they will describe their feelings when something important that does hurt like Granny dying, happens to them. Then in the next instagram frame the children have instantly gotten over the heartbreak and continue adding to alleged climate change jetting or driving up and down the country to the next music festival or friends parent's beach bach wearing the latest designer gear, cellphone and makeup.
B) Things in your life that you have total control over
Realising there is nothing you can actually do about all the shit in A). There are far more important things in your life that you can control. These are identified by panty-waisting liberals who say none of these things are your fault such as the food you stick in your gob, hot fat you are, how uneducated you are, your addictions......need we go on. No.