Mary Holm - You're Fired

I have already been in trouble today after a call on car speakerphone where it appears my four year old niece has learned the f word from me (more inevitable than her catching Coronavirus).


Any banker and I repeat, writing new lending to homeowners, especially first home buyers for the last year needs to be in jail for misusing trusting depositors.  Any person pumping first home buyers right now to go buy that home they have always aspired to get, is batshit crazy and should be in the cell next to them.  The banks should be focusing on picking winners and supporting them with finance at this point in the commercial lending side.

Here is what Mary should have advised.

Q: My husband and I were planning to buy our first home in Auckland this year before plans to have a baby.
We are using a broker, have pre-approval from two banks and a 20 per cent deposit made up of savings, KiwiSaver and a little help from Mum and Dad.
However, the situation with Covid-19 has given me the jitters. Is now the best time to be making a big financial decision? I work full-time as a registered nurse so job security isn't an issue, presuming I don't get taken out on the front line!

CACTUS: Are you fucking stupid?!!   Mum and Dad are about to be wiped out as they would have bought their own "nest egg" property, as is the KiwiSavers, your broker is on commission and the bank pre-approval shouldn't be worth the paper it is printed on. Your husband may not have a job and you want to buy a house and get knocked up? What fucking planet are you on?

Save your cash and buy a house off one of your friends who bragged six months ago about doing the same.  At the mortgagee sale. Oh and by the way, you have a job as a nurse, that won't help you.  When the dust settles Jacinda will be raising your taxes to a level we have not seen since Muldoon.  Google him if you are too young to remember.

Right time to buy?
Q: Is now the right time to buy a house? I've already sold, and have temporary accommodation.
I fear Covid-19 may cause wide-ranging job losses resulting in mortgagee sales. I don't want to put myself in that situation by ploughing ahead not considering the present uncertainty, only to lose my job.
CACTUS: Your initial fears are correct.   If you think you are going to lose your job you probably are going to. You already sold your last house, put your big boy or girl pants on and think for yourself.  If you are writing to a newspaper columnist for free financial advice to tell you something you already know is not true.


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