Election Night Wrap

So what now.......

National need to have resignations. The caucus were appalling. The quitters who quit need to disappear. Don’t come Monday do not come at all. Seriously that was the worst campaign I’ve ever seen on the centre right.

For those of us old enough to recall English 2002 was actually worse from a numbers perspective! I can’t see how!!

The shame is large. Todd Muller wanted to be leader and ironically he is back in. He should not be. His weakness was a disgrace. Hide it as you would he was part of the problem for his weakness of quitting.

To the other quitters. Own it. You were a total disgrace and should not show your faces publicly in a long time. I cannot get over how bad they were. On the plus however I never give respect unless it is earned and to people I know Megan Campbell, Janet Wilson and co who stayed knowing how shithouse this would be I cannot give them enough credit for bunking down on the virtual Titanic knowing the icebergs were fast approaching weeks ago. There are not enough words in a dictionary to suffice the amount of respect for staying the course! I shall buy you drinks for years. Judith Collins’ speech was exceptional and her delivery was great. To James her son with the difficulties he faces in life to come on stage to support his mother was amazing. Well played kid. His efforts were greater than most of the weak pathetic caucus. 

I want to see a National Party board cleansed of the shitgibbons of old, Stefan Sunde and the younger kids in charge. The Boag/Goodfellow/Kiely factionalism with others gone. Away. All of you. There is no other way.

We forget 2002 but I cannot believe Bill English did worse than this result and poneyd up and stood again. Why?? Losers do not stand and lose again. Go away. Key, Boag and English need to own a massive part of what happened tonight. Winners leave a succession plan in business and in life. They did not, they left disunity. 

I’m an ACT voter bar 2017. To see David Seymour arrive triumphantly on a boat with Stuart Wilson an Act party stalwart almost brought tears to ones salty eyes. It was fabulous as he rolled triumphantly into HQ and the loyal coaster Leo Molloy’s fabulous bar was magnificent. ACTs best show ever was magnificent. This was the moment we have been waiting for years. Don’t fuck it up.

Winston Peters was even magnificent today. In defeat the cunning old ffffffox in defeat even came away a winner on points.

Jacinda Ardern who I shall not call Cindy for one day was humble. Clarke serving average food was forgivable and cute . That was kind and nice as was accepting Judith Collins call. Kelvin Davis was horrific and needs to be resigned to the naughty corner but fortunately the left will deal with him. Disappear dickhead. Even Bomber Bradbury wasn’t so awful after a bottomless brunch. Other Labour candidates have been suitably publicly humble in thumping wins.  I hope they know this is not going unnoticed.

Nanaia Mahuta for Deputy PM! I dare them. 

David Cunliffe was a star performer. Not something you ever would call him. Chris Finlayson was totally gorgeous.  


Tonight National voters switched to Labour. Apparently middle class housewives. Weeeeeellll. Let us hope your husbands are come tomorrow asking the hard questions.

Unforgivable. Shameful. The height of stupidity.

Rural seats were lost. To me this says carbon taxes....go for it. Nothing is now or should it be off the table. Wealth tax no but NOONE asked Jacinda about LAND taxes. Rural NZ deserted National. That will not work out well for them. Ever.

I have spent my adult career advocating to help the afflicted from punitive taxes. I am now quitting this task. Over. Fuck all of you. You shall now get the government you deserve. All of it. LOL.

Megan Hands did not win her seat. Young Megan is the very sort of candidate National should have in Parliament. National defectors need to feel that shame. In one of the wealthiest electorates in NZ in Auckland Central, the Greens matched National’s party vote.

The shame needs to now be felt on your back pocket.

There is an entire mandate that the far and even moderate left will demand from Jacinda Ardern. They are now her largest opposition and they know it.

They will demand the smug land owning classes who handed the left to do entirely to them as they please. Stories from BBQs of utter morons making more on property than their years salary should now come back to bite them. Farmers? Well you deserted National. Good luck. 

I invite the left to implement the mandate they have. Bring it.

Tax everything that moves. 

And if it is still moving tax it again.

For in 2014 in the depth of Dirty Politics I feared this result back then. I don’t fear for fear is a piss weak emotion. 

It didn’t happen in 2014. It is happening right now. Voters can clearly handle politics “scandal”.

What they in NZ cannot handle is a meltdown of a caucus with no unity, quitters and deserters. Cunliffe had it and tonight it was amusing to hear him complain he was a victim of John Key’s “dirty politics machine”. No you were not honey, we had gone well and triumphantly dirty rogue by then, beating you up was not at Sir JK’s  request we did that for free and shits and giggles. By then your own inner senior caucus were offering tips for free as they just hard hated you!!!

The shame needs to be felt and get hard.

National. Get your shit together. Starting tomorrow.

I call on Nick Smith, Gerry Brownlee.... quit your party list positions and let the young kids have a go. You have ZERO mandate to put your bums back on a seat with perks ruining the future of the party for you own egos. Go. NOW. Nicola Willis, Chris Bishop and co need to be allowed to come back in and rejuvenate the party from tomorrow. The future of the National party and the centre right are these “kids” and the likes of Nicola Grigg. Gerry Brownlee and Nick Smith are not a part of this. 

You’ve had your time the voters have told you to p*** right off. Now stand and take not the Colin Kaepernick knee take the full burn.

Descrknee but a leak.

You all deserve it. Everyone over the age of 49 inclusive to include Goldsmith on the National list, bugger right off and take one for the team.

I’ve written off the last year to Covid and had a sabbatical. I suspect 2021 is gonna as an offshore tax consultant be a BOOMER.

Bring it.


  1. Sweet baby Jesus. A crisis is good for an incumbent but wtf NZ??? The sheeple jokes are actually all true. Any thought of moving back to NZ just flew right out the window.

  2. I think maybe you forgot the stupid old fool that rang the talk back show. JFC where did they get these fools from.

  3. LOL Ali Mau thinks the obesity charade sank National. Clueless. The only way you get a result like this is having a crisis and making people think you are saving them from certain death. Spook the sheep with an imaginary wolf outside the door and they'll vote for anyone "protecting" them, regardless of how useless the protector has been at doing anything else over three years. If there had been no covid St Jacinda of the Pestilence would be despondently looking at a National/Act coalition.

  4. Bang on the money, again. “Height of stupidity” on the part of anyone who gave their party vote to the left is dead right. Apparently it’s largely because they’re all inexplicably petrified of Covid and think Jacinda “saved” them. I want to know is (apart from how she’s pulled off that big fat lie) is how and why our county has become such a nation of infantilised drips? NZ has degenerated into a left wing cesspool of mediocrity. Enjoy the taxes, folks!

  5. Judith technically lost as well, and normally I would say losers shouldn't try again, but if there is to be an exception to this it would be Judith, just on the basis of how she was treated inside her party and by the media. WP wasn't magnificent, if anything he reminded me of how life is tragic as he sounds slower and is much less deft in his answers. We'll all get there someday however.

    1. If there is someone else in National who can lead the party to win the next election Judith Collins needs to leave now and let that happen. The caucus will decide this soon. Let us hope they are not as inept as their picks have been post John Key's departure.

  6. They still haven't found the "leaker", well there is but one left that has been there all that time, didn't like Don, has caused so much grief and it wasn't the member for Christchurch. There is only one blue green grass. Toss him out on his arse. What has Tova got on him?

  7. Next year when the economy has unwound there will the feral mother of all budgets, and Jacinda will be hated.

    Seymour got that part right. National needs to go nationalist and United.

    And pick up the mess when most poleople know slogans won't cut it.

    That may take to 2026


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