Mittens Has Redeemed Wellington
Wellington is a cold, windy hell-hole of a place I am glad I have little excuse to travel to anymore. Almost all of the people I like in Wellington have seen the light and moved far from it. What remains is the largesse of the public service, smug trench coat wearing overpaid bureaucrats who mourn the loss of Astoria, despite many working from home this year. Not because of Covid really, but that they were perfectly capable of hiding the fact they do such little work. The much loved cafe scene of Wellington has been slowly dying, killed off, well by themselves really.
Early this year, before the world turned coward, so desperate was I to avoid Wellington completely that I ordered an Uber to come and pick me up from the airport and take me over the hill to see friends in the lovely town of Martinborough. I did not wish to go near the centre of Wellington town (and it is a town) and perish the thought, wait a ridiculously amount of time get on a train.
But other than the Pravda cheese scones, National Treasure Sir Robert Jones and Stephen at Avida, I have finally found something really positive about Wellington.
It must turn Gareth Morgan's blood cold to see this majestic kitty roaming the streets of Wellington, patted and petted by adoring fans who post selfies on his Facebook page. He really is like a much nicer smelling, better behaved version of the late Blanketman. He is the cooler more accessible everyday Grumpy Cat.
Now Mittens has a new song.
This indeed is the best news to come out of New Zealand since March. Even if the song is terrible. Who cares? Mittens has saved 2020 and his line of charitable memorabilia is awe inspiring. The best things about Facebook are rate my cake pages and cat ones. Mittens’ page is especially wonderful as it’s the only time collectively I ever see Wellingtonians genuinely enjoying being in Wellington and not pretending and over-compensating as a result. For that he is in the category of one.
Mittens is 2020 New Zealander of the Year in my book.