The Reserve Bank's Bold Answer To The Housing Crisis - Diversity!

I think I have finally found myself the perfect job.  It is extraordinary that in a day and age of Covid with the private sector having to cut back and rationalise their workforces, that a position like this is deemed essential, no doubt with a six figure salary attached and absolutely zero recognisable KPI's.

There is no way anyone could possibly stuff up this job.  No way.

It is written like they already have a candidate to give it to.  Just meaningless and senseless.  The job of the Reserve Bank remember is to maintain the New Zealand financial system, operate monetary policy, manage foreign reserves, issue currency, operate financial markets and monitor and supervise banks and financial institutions.  All of which is rather colourblind to everything but money.

I attach with my indented and italicised narrations as we go....The New Zealand Taxpayers Union could well look at promoting a complete hiring freeze in the public sector for non-essential positions.  This is just absurd.


Full Time

I will let you decide how truthful that will be.

Auckland or Wellington, New Zealand

Organisation-wide strategic position

Influential role to speak to people’s hearts and minds

Why? Adrian Orr does not even do this.  The RB is the central bank.

Auckland or Wellington location with flexible work arrangement options

So basically Gisborne, Hawkes Bay, Gore, Tauranga, pick your unsupervised place.

This is a highly influential role to develop and implement RBNZ’s diversity and inclusion strategy. Bringing expertise in best practice, you’ll engage and champion diversity, inclusion and wellness.

There are many government departments who already have this strategy, just copy and paste it.

Te tūranga – The role

We are committed to creating and maintaining an environment that is diverse, inclusive and welcoming for all people. This is a newly created positon (sic) to promote and embed initiatives that enrich our diversity and inclusion and employee experience across the organisation.

Under what possible set of circumstances does a Central Bank ever have to be welcoming for all?  "Newly created", so even after $50b of funds paid for Covid there was a budget line for this waffle?

As Senior Adviser, you’ll lead and develop our organisation-wide D&I strategy, and play a central role in the design, communication, implementation and monitoring of the D&I work programme.

Yes you are a subset of a subset of what is commonly known as the HR department.

You’ll champion our vision of Great Team and Best Central Bank, which embraces a diverse workplace where individuals can flourish. Having the courage behind your convictions, you will engage and constructively challenge people to have honest conversations and go beyond their comfort zone to make a real impact.

Like - Mr Orr why was the system hacked or why are you writing meaningless letters to Grant Robertson and receiving them in the charade about housing affordability? Or how sustainable it is not in New Zealanders for savers to get 1% on their deposits before they look for riskier options circa finance companies? How safe are NZ banks? Can they withstand a property crash or are house prices going to have to go up as Jacinda Ardern said before Christmas, forever?

No the challenging questions will be more like - Mr Orr, when are you leaving for your assistant Governor who can speak Te Reo?

With a strong data driven approach, you will establish a system to capture and monitor data on diversity characteristics. Using this insight, you’ll drive the Bank’s D&I programme of work, including coordination of internal working groups to encourage people to embed these practices in their daily work. Working with key stakeholders up to senior levels and teams throughout the organisation, you’ll instil an achievement focussed, energised and resilient workforce who are emotionally connected to our outcomes and to each other’s success.

Word soup - no KPI so you can't fail.

The Reserve Bank’s senior leadership is committed to creating a diverse and inclusive working environment, where everyone can thrive.  Juliet Tainui-Hernandez, GM Transformation and People (in other words - a lawyer who specialises in Human Resources and areas with easy KPI's) says: “Diversity and inclusion is not only the right thing to do, but it generates innovation, attracts the best talent, and leads to better strategy, better risk management, better debate and better outcomes”.

Really? Prove this in a Central Bank. No KPI.

Ō pūkenga – About you

To be successful in this role you’ll bring:

Existing knowledge and experience developing and embedding best practice strategies in the D&I, employee experience and wellbeing space

Top notch written and verbal communication skills, and a proven ability to present, engage and champion new ideas and initiatives including the facilitation of workshops

Sound understanding of Te Ao Maori and Te Tiriti o Waitangi and how this merges with D&I in Aotearoa

So diverse that in practical terms only Maori can apply. Even if a non-Maori was fluent in Te Reo this wouldn’t be enough and as Te Reo use and understanding has widened, Maori needed a new box of tricks to exclude others from these jobs. . “Te Ao” is a subtle distinction but a huge one that only someone as versed in critical interpretation of legal diversity as myself,  can truly understand.  It means basically a “Maori world view”. Which yes this paragraph means the position will only be filled by Maori and with it, not a Maori of the Paula Bennett/Simon Bridges persuasion. You have to be the “right sort” of Maori and of course a wahine. 

Critical-thinker with excellent analytical skills

But not too critical to want the job of any HR director above.

Great self-awareness, drive, initiative and a willingness to learn, improve and “lead by example”

Sensitivity to the need of individuals to be treated with respect and fairness and competent in your understanding of Equal Employment Opportunities.

Ngā painga – What we offer

We offer an inclusive and flexible working environment to enable our people to bring their whole selves to work and embrace each other’s uniqueness. Our benefits include flexi-leave, wellness package, working from home subsidy, generous parental leave provisions, a range of learning and development opportunities, and access to numerous social, networking and sporting activities.

Come to work whenever you want!  Need some days off? No problem.  Have a couple of babies? No problem.  Attend a few hui, tangi and the odd touch rugby tournament? No problem.

Ko wai matou – Who we are

All New Zealanders have dreams, hopes, plans and goals. To achieve them we need a stable economy and safe banking system built on integrity, innovation and inclusion. And that’s exactly what we at the Reserve Bank of New Zealand – Te Pūtea Matua enable. A trusted system that gives Kiwis the confidence to make the spending and savings decisions that matter most to them.

We have a clear goal: to improve the economic wellbeing and living standards of all New Zealanders so that we, and the generations to come, continue to enjoy this great country.

None of which in your role you will actually contribute to the decision making process regarding because our number crunchers and real professionals do all this for us.

We are hugely passionate about what we do and the impact it has on Kiwi businesses, communities and whānau. Enabling New Zealand’s financial system takes expertise, determination and a strong commitment to working collaboratively with our partners. We carry this responsibility with great pride and encourage you to apply if this resonates with you.

Our partners = sucking up to Labour for a larger budget so we can employ more of our friends in jobs like this. 

To find out more please review the position description, and for specific queries contact Lorraine Archbold, Senior Recruitment Adviser at 04 471 3793.

Please submit your application online by Sunday 31st January 2021

Please note – With the New Zealand border being closed and new visa applications not being considered until further notice, we are only able to consider candidates who are currently residing in NZ or who already have NZ Citizen / Perm Residency status.

So diverse and inclusive, do not apply if you are not from New Zealand or overseas without a pre-booked MIQ spot.

Should anyone reading this blog from the Reserve Bank or similar feel the need to contact me when this position has been filled with the name of the successful applicant, we shall give them a bit of a welcoming shout out in the interests of inclusiveness. 

Leave details in my comments as I moderate them all. 

Comments

  1. Is there a company car with executive parking privileges thrown in? Taxi chits are so pass'e.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Car must be a high grade (long range) electric and a Euro.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Leaving aside the entirety of this left wing cringe fest, tell me they didn’t actually use the toe curling “kiwi” and that that is your edits. Thanks.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Christ. The dumbing down of our once-proud nation knows no bounds.

      Delete
    2. Kiwi? How about them still using "New Zealand"? The woke word is Aotearoa. "NZ" is so racist. The writer of the job ad needs a visit to a re-education camp.

      I prefer Aotearoa-Zimbabwe in solidarity with comrades in that freed country.

      Zimbabwe produced $100 trillion bank notes. AZ's Reserve Bank diversity banknotes will be there soon

      Maori should be given land occupied by Pakeha invaders same as in Zimbabwe (that's any land) . Any Pakeha owning more than one house should have to give one to a Maori whanau. That will solve the housing crisis. Any Pakeha not born in Aotearoa should be repatriated. That will double solve it.
      /sarc

      Delete
    3. Don’t get me started on the word “pakeha”.....*shudder*

      Delete
  4. Must be brown eyed, have a brown nose ( proof of skills) and prepared to take a packed lunch when calling on superiors

    ReplyDelete

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