Lords - The Greatest Cricket Match Ever

It has been 10 days since I was sitting in the stands in London and I still cannot bring myself to write about it.

I would be happier to call it the greatest cricket match ever, if we had actually won. But we did not.

It may take some time to write about it.

Manchester - Black Caps v Oh My God

I counted four Black Caps supporters in my stand at Manchester. I didn’t count the Pakistanis who trolled the Indians by supporting us for the day. Although I should. When the final wicket was taken after waiting for a DRS you could feel the silence spread all over your excited sweaty NZ arms awaiting to burst out expletives of joy.
Only you couldn’t. You’re in a stand of by this state rather pissed off Indian fans. As good natured as they were it possibly wouldn’t have extended this far as jumping up and down multiple times screaming “oh fuck yes”.
I knew that’s what you were all doing back home at some ungodly hour. I am here, have tickets, with a small group of other likeminded people and all we could do in the greatest moment in NZ cricket since Grant Elliott hit a glorious six to win us the game against South Africa in the lovely warm covered stand that is Eden Park, was look at each other and piss ourselves laughing at the enormity of the situation. We couldn’t celebrate.

Durham - Blacks Caps V The Colonisers

I had the afternoon off on arrival to Newcastle so instead of a much needed sleep, I took the rare opportunity while staying next to St James’ Park to visit Newcastle's home ground with yet another football stadium tour. On it I met several England cricket fans who were going to the game the next day.  Sledging resulted whereby I won because the guide mentioned the All Blacks visit during the 2015 World Cup to the ground and I managed to ask him what team won the 2015 rugby World Cup. He then had to say the magic words in the All Blacks.
Our guide was a fabulous bloke in love with the club and in hate with the owner for Rafa Benitez recent departure. Sadly unlike the Manchester tours, lifts were at their premium and I had to hobble up hundreds of stairs but the tour didn’t disappoint. Newcastle has a rich history from Sir Bobby Robson to Sir Bobby Robson with lashings of Alan Shearer and Paul Gascoigne in between. The history was gloriously bad. To stretch the tour 90 mins really…

Lords - Black Caps v Scum

Back in London I had to treat myself to a quick trip to the local doctors in Mayfair for a check not on my now throbbingly sore ankle with blown ligaments, but a nasty ear infection. I correctly diagnosed it oozing a darker shade of nuclear Aussie green as needing a week of antibiotics. Some doctors and chemist visit with an 160GBP bill for my insurer later and I had enough painkillers to calm a lion. Ironically from a French doctor so he made up for his weaker prescribing Monaco colleague. The downside has been the need of a nana nap in the afternoon. Without the drugs however the ankle is a lighter shade of hell to get around on.
Following his instruction to stay off the ankle completely, I had a mildly busy schedule for the next 5 nights in London. Two trips to the Royal Albert Hall for Tony Bennett and Gladys Knight, Australia at Lords, a dinner at a mates place out in the suburbs and a trip to Wembley for the Pink concert. I will write about the fun stuff later but on to busines…

NZ Cricket Takes To Trolling Critics

Trolling – (verb), as it relates to internet, is the deliberate act, (by a Troll – noun or adjective), of making random unsolicited and/or controversial comments on various internet forums with the intent to provoke an emotional knee jerk reaction from unsuspecting readers to engage in a fight or argument 
Apparently Tom Latham is a "world class" keeper.  I dispute this but Craig McMillan has put a line in the sand, the blinkers on and said this  in what can only be described as a massive troll:
"Obviously [Guptill and Latham] are short on runs but we're excited by the fact that we haven't quite clicked as a batting group yet. But we're still at this point. At the start of the tournament the goal was to get to the semifinals because then anything can happen."
We have to actually make the bloody semi-finals and of more worry to date we have yet to beat a team let alone convincingly that is actually any good.  We have only really cleaned up two ter…

Birmingham - Black Caps v Pakistan

I think we should just move on from that match.
Edgbaston was terribly horribly cold at the level of The Oval and Bangladesh.  The positive was the alcohol lines were only full of the 12 New Zealanders in attendance.  We all needed it watching this match as it was a complete shocker where we never looked like winning.  Edgbaston for the Pakistani is a home game.
Even with all my coldgear I froze myself completely as my ankle somehow from the lack of elevation still managed to swell over the antithesis of the fridge like temperatures.
I returned to the Hyatt in Birmingham and within minutes the Blackcaps were slowly marching up to the team meeting.  One hoped they received a Sir Alex Ferguson hairdryer for their pathetic performance.  Neesham, de Grandhomme and Kane again all played well.  The rest were completely average.  That we only got four wickets was a disgrace.  Latham again ZERO form.
I met a couple at the hotel doing the complete trip as I am.  The wife had given her ticket …

Yes Why Can't NZ Do Climate Action Like We Play Cricket

Massey University Professor Emeritus Ralph Sims said the "hugely challenging" problem of climate change had been understood for many years.
"If only we could attract greater public attention for the problem and thereby gain a high international reputation for our efforts akin to what the Black Caps have achieved in the World Cricket Cup.
"Is winning a game of cricket really more important than our children's future?"
Of all the bullshit things written in the last weeks from so-called experts about Cricket and over the decades about the "problem" of climate change, we finally have a so-called expert stuffing them both up in one twisted analogy of great ballocks.
Yesterday's game against Pakistan really has made this article even more ridiculous than it was.
I care about cricket because it is real.  Climate change of course is not a real problem we can do much about.  It is a natural occurrence of something that has happened since even before the …